Tag: humor
group name: offbeathumor
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February 04, 2008 06:27 PM EST --
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What . . .
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December 26, 2007 12:55 PM EST --
What would have happened if on the first Christmas, there had been three wise women instead of three wise men?
They would have:
asked for directions
arrived . . .
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December 29, 2007 03:57 PM EST --
When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & . . .
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December 29, 2007 04:05 PM EST --
TenThoughts to Ponder
for 2008
Number10
Lifeis sexually transmitted. . . .
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December 26, 2007 12:58 PM EST --
Lovable Louise -- A Christmas Story
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose overhis fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa . . .
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December 26, 2007 02:08 PM EST --
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won!
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S . . .
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January 04, 2008 03:29 PM EST --
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
"What's . . .
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December 27, 2007 07:29 AM EST --
T'was A Maxine Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house...
Not a creature . . .
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January 22, 2008 05:00 PM EST --
A new supermarket opened near my house and has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
But I . . .
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February 26, 2008 05:28 PM EST --
Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones.
While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert . . .
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January 11, 2008 09:47 AM EST --
A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen.
"Ma'am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the middle of the salmon." . . .
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February 13, 2008 02:52 AM EST --
I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a . . .
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January 22, 2008 06:11 PM EST --
Sam Clam and Ollie were life long friends; One day Ollie passed away and went to heaven.
After several months Ollie longed for his old pal Sam Clam. Becoming depressed he went to St. Pete and asked . . .
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January 23, 2008 12:12 PM EST --
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar (though no tags) and well-fed belly and clean that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, . . .
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February 18, 2008 11:58 AM EST --
SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* Doing a job RIGHT . . .
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January 15, 2008 01:27 PM EST --
For all those men who say, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.?"
Here's an update for you:
Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY ? Because women realize it's . . .
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January 25, 2008 08:38 PM EST --
Guess who does not like his new step-parent...?
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February 06, 2008 01:32 PM EST --
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the
Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has . . .
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February 09, 2008 03:57 PM EST --
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the . . .
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January 02, 2008 05:30 PM EST --
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of green leaf lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and . . .
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