Tag: life
group name: offbeathumor
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January 11, 2008 09:47 AM EST --
A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen.
"Ma'am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the middle of the salmon." . . .
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January 30, 2008 08:34 AM EST --
HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEAT MATES ON AN AIRPLANE
If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your . . .
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January 28, 2008 07:31 PM EST --
The nexttime someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respondlike this?.....
Yesterday Iwas buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the dog . . .
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February 02, 2008 04:03 PM EST --
One day mother was out and dad was in charge. The little daughter was maybe 1 and a half years old. Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of her favorite . . .
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February 14, 2008 05:47 AM EST --
7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children...!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it . . .
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January 29, 2008 08:48 PM EST --
JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"" Because white is the color of happiness, . . .
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January 30, 2008 08:43 AM EST --
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Waterloo , NY after last call the officer noticed a man leaving . . .
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January 29, 2008 09:41 AM EST --
A dear friend sent this to me and I thought you should see it.
Last night I had the strangest dream. It was so real, so lifelike and so vivid I woke up in a cold sweat. Let me describe . . .
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January 29, 2008 08:55 PM EST --
Who was Jesus?
My theory is that Jesus was a white Cajun:
1. He liked to serve fish to his friends.
2. He could make his own wine.
3. And he wasn't afraid of water. . . .
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January 29, 2008 06:29 AM EST --
Note: Most of us are too young to remember U.S. comedian Sam Levenson, he was popular from the 1940s through the mid-1960's. But Levenson said things that made sense and it would be a . . .
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March 03, 2008 07:05 AM EST --
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. . . .
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February 03, 2008 11:03 AM EST --
Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Ft Myers, Florida, when They turned a corner and see a sign that says, " Old Timers Bar - All Drinks 10 Cents."
They look at each other, . . .
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February 27, 2008 11:26 AM EST --
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38-calibre . . .
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